Provincetown For Women Blog

Lesbian dating book author reveals her secrets for an empowered dating life

Posted on Tue, May 15, 2018

Provincetown for Women is delighted to welcome Kim Baker, author of Girls’ Guide to Healthy Dating: Between the Breakup and the Next U-Haul. Kim will be hosting a talk this Single Women’s Weekend about the four pillars of healthy dating. Come meet women, share your dating horror stories, and learn how you can have a more empowered dating experience.

When: 11:15 AM, Saturday, May 19

Where: Cabaret at the Crown & Anchor, 247 Commercial St.

Price: Included in registration

Provincetown for Women spoke with Kim about how she ended up writing a lesbian dating advice book, her top takeaways, and what you can expect from her talk.


Provincetown for Women: How did you end up writing a lesbian dating advice book?

Kin Baker: I had just gotten out of a long-term relationship, and realized that I had gone from relationship to relationship and I didn’t really know how to date. And I realized that if I wanted to have a different experience in relationships, then I needed to date differently. But I had no idea where to start.

So I started looking around for lesbian dating books, and at the time – this was around 2010 – there weren’t any. I couldn’t find any books on how to date in a healthy way as a lesbian. And you know what they say: If you want to read a book and you can’t find it, then write it. So I set out to experiment with doing things differently in my own dating life, and then a few years after that, I sat down and wrote a book about it. And that’s how it came to be.

PFW: What do you think it is about the lesbian experience specifically that makes us so likely to jump into things so fast?

KB: We’re all women, right? And women are conditioned to connect. It’s our biological purpose on this earth, to connect with each other emotionally and physically. So when you’re talking about two women, you start dating someone and you like them and you’re like, well why not see if this’ll work? So for me, it became about making all these relationships work instead of really evaluating compatibility and looking for the things I really needed in a partner.

I don’t know if everyone does this, but I definitely spent most of my dating time digging in and going, Alright, we’re together, we’ve known each other a few weeks, and how are we going to make this work?

PFW: What other common mistakes did you identify in the lesbian dating community?

KB: One of the big ones is that we like to date our friends. We date people before we’re over our exes. We date our ex’s exes. There’s this weird thing in our community where the circle of who we date doesn’t expand very far. And that habit can keep us in some patterns.

PFW: In the book you cover the importance of focusing on yourself rather than others. Isn’t the point of dating to focus on someone else?

KB: I suppose that’s one way to look at it. But when I talk about focusing on yourself, I’m really talking about how we approach being healthy in relationships. I think we all tend to get very outwardly focused. We have blame the other person for whatever we’re experiencing in a relationship, and we don’t really examine what our own part is in that situation. So then when the relationship ends, or if we have another similar situation, the pattern just repeats itself because we’ve done no examination of what our responsibility is.

So when I talk about focusing on yourself, I’m really referring to approaching dating from a position of self-responsibility. When you’re in a relationship, you’re a team, and you’re very focused on each other in a healthy, interdependent way. But in a lot of cases, we get lost because we lose ourselves. We lose our habits and our hobbies and our voice, and we get overly focused on the relationship. Nothing will ruin a relationship faster than abandoning ourselves.

PFW: I don’t want you to give any spoilers, but what are some common things women could do better with online dating?

KB: One thing that I learned is that the online dating profile is really crucial. We think that we have to impress everyone, so we try to stick to only things that make us look good. And there’s nothing wrong with that, but what tends to happen is that we don’t let who we really are come through fully. The best profiles are the ones where girls let their quirky side shine through.

PFW: What’s one piece of advice to you have for women who are coming out of a relationship or are struggling to get back out there?

KB: The number one thing that changes everything is healing past grief. I don’t actually talk about this very much in the book, but we live in a pretty grief-illiterate society. We don’t really know how to comfort each other through periods of grief, and we don’t process it. So it gets stuck, and it piles up. When you jump from relationship to relationship, you just carry all that old stuff right into the next one. It really blocks us from being present and vulnerable and authentic, and you need those three things to make deep emotional connections.

Processing that grief looks different for everyone. For me, I had to first acknowledge that I had grief. When we’re not aware that we’re carrying grief, it can control us in ways we don’t realize. So the first thing is to acknowledge the places where we need to do some healing. And then once you figure out where that grief is coming from, you really just have to do some grief work. I went through an old-school book on healing grief, and it was amazing how fast I began to feel lighter. I think it’s because I finally let myself acknowledge that there was some old stuff that was stuck and always running in the background.

PFW: What can people expect from your talk at Single Women’s Weekend?

KB: They can expect a fairly casual conversation. A lot of times when you get back into the dating scene it can feel like, “Ugh, here I go again!” It can be very daunting. So I’ll provide specific strategies to have a more empowered dating experience, and four key components of dating that we can do differently. Because the only thing we can really control is ourselves.

So if nothing else, people can come, hear some funny stories, and talk about dating and relationships. And I have some giveaways, so you might just get a free book out of it!

Once again, you can find Kim at 11:15 on Saturday, May 19 at Cabaret at the Crown & Anchor, 247 Commercial St. Kim will be joining us again at 2 PM at the Harbor Lounge (359 Commercial St), along with three other lesbian authors, to talk dating, lifestyle and romance. Learn more about her work here.

Tags: single women's weekend, dating

The 2015 Summer Season is Kicking Off in May

Posted on Mon, Apr 28, 2014

Here is the Provincetown For Women events calendar for 2015. - See more at:

Tags: memorial day weekend, entertainment, women of color event, girl splash, single women's weekend

Ptown Kicks Off With Single Women's Weekend

Posted on Fri, May 20, 2011

Single - or not - we have 7 public events for women this weekend in Ptown! Performing at The Crown & Anchor at 8:30PM -- Jessica Kirson tonight, May 20th and Lori Michaels tomorrow, May 21st.

Plus, the first women's dance parties of the season kick off tonight at The Crown and tomorrow at The Pied, followed by the Annual Women's Brunch at Bayside Betsy's.

single womens weekend features jessica kirson and lori michaels resized 600

Tags: single women's weekend

Jennie McNulty - the Joke Dr. is in Ptown this summer

Posted on Wed, May 18, 2011

Jennie McNulty


Recently rated amongst the Top 10 Lesbian comics by Curve magazine and “One of the premiere comedians in the country” by the New England Blade, Jennie can currently be seen on MTV Network’s LOGO channel in two “One Night Stand Up” comedy specials.  And was featured in the hit NBC show, “Starting Over.”

She can also be seen as the host of her bi-weekly walking talk show, "Jennie McNulty Presents: Walking Funny With…” on the premiere lesbian website, “”.
She has traveled the world doing comedy – literally. In addition to headlining in comedy clubs all over the US and Canada, she has entertained the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan, Bosnia, Serbia and many other bases.  And, for some less dangerous excitement, she performs regularly at Harrah’s Casino in Las Vegas.

Jennie spends her summer seasons performing nightly in Provincetown, MA and has performed at The Toronto Gay and Lesbian Comedy Festival; The “Dinah Shore” event; and countless Pride events coast to coast.

Jennie also produces the popular “Rainbow Comedy Night” in Ventura, CA  as well as a monthly comedy/variety show in West Hollywood that consistently features the hottest acts in LA. Also working as, “The Joke Dr,” McNulty has helped countless comedians with their material and teaches comedy classes.

And, in her spare time, Jennie plays women’s tackle football for the California Quake in the Independent Women’s Football League.   

Connect with Jennie Online:

Tags: memorial day weekend, Dinah Shore Events, entertainment, girl splash, single women's weekend

Rain or Shine - Join Jessica Kirson at Single Women's Weekend

Posted on Tue, May 17, 2011

Jessica Kirson Comedian Single Women%27s Weekened resized 600

Single Women's Weekend is coming up. Don't miss performances by top comedians like Jessica Kirson.

Jessica Kirson's unique style and captivating stage presence captures the attention of audiences and club bookers everywhere she performs. Her wide variety of characters brings a diverse energy to her routine. Once you have seen her amazing talent, it is easy to understand why she was selected to perform at the Hamptons, Toyota, Marshall's Women in Comedy, Comedy Central's South Beach, Montreal, and HBO's Las Vegas comedy festivals.


She was awarded, "Best Female Comic" by the MAC association in New York City. She is considered one of the top comedians in the country. She has been featured on various television shows, including, Comedy Central's "Premium Blend" and "Fresh Faces," Nickelodeon's "Sixth in the Suburbs," Noggin's "LOL," VH1's "Awesomely Bad" Shows, Oxygen's premier game show "Can You Tell?," Bravo's "The Great Things About Being," The Women's Television Network's, "She's So Funny," NBC's "Last Comic Standing" Seasons 2 and 3, NBC's "Last Call With Carson Daly," Two appearances on the "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", Showtime's, "White Boyz in the Hood", and NBC's "Celebrity Apprentice". She also has a one hour special on the Logo Channel called, "My Cookie's Gone" and has appeared on, "The Joy Behar Show" on CNN-HLN twelve times.

What I love about Ptown & Single Women's Weekend:

"There is nothing I love more than performing for an audience filled with women. Single women's weekend in Provincetown is amazing. I am so excited to be a part of this incredible weekend in 2011. Any woman who is looking to relax, party, or just find someone they can buy a Uhaul with by the following Monday, should come to play with us May 20th-22nd."

Connect with Jessica Online:

Tags: summer 2011, entertainment, single women's weekend

Mingle With Other Singles at Women's Weekend in Provincetown this May

Posted on Mon, Apr 18, 2011

Single Women's Weekend, May 20-22

single womens weekend provincetownThe only event for single lesbians in the world. Over the course of three days, meet new friends and consider new possibilities at nearly 20 events, including Speed Dating, dance parties, entertainment, the popular wine tasting, and a single's scavenger hunt. 

Single Women’s Weekend in Provincetown, Massachusetts makes finding other single lesbians easy – we leave the next steps up to you and your imagination! Lesbian superstar Lori Michaels and comedian Jessica Kirson headline the weekend, produced by Girl Power Events and The Women Innkeepers of Provincetown.

So, what are you plans this May?

  1. Check out our event schedule.
  2. Buy tickets online.
  3. Take a look at last year's fun and more at our flickr gallery.
  4. See you there!

Tags: summer 2011, single women's weekend

15,000 Women to Party in Provincetown, MA in Summer 2011

Posted on Fri, Apr 15, 2011

Thousands of Women, 4 Events, 1 Town = Provincetown for Women

women ptown summer 2011Four events this summer are expected to draw thousands of lesbians and their friends to frolic at P-Town’s glorious beaches: Single Women's Weekend (May 20-22); Memorial Day Weekend (May 26-30), featuring the ever-popular women's party cruise; Women of Color & Friends Weekend (June 2-5); and Girl Splash, the Summer Event for Women (July 20-24).  Check out fun-filled schedules and buy tickets at

Each event includes its own uniquely designed, non-stop line-up of programming specifically tailored to lesbians, from T-dances and pool parties to Inn Strolls and world-renowned lesbian entertainment.  The four events break new records for attendance every year, with a combined total of 15,000 women expected this summer.

“Provincetown — the gayest travel destination on earth — is the ideal setting,” says Lynette Molnar, ProvincetownForWomen’s visionary entrepreneur and powerhouse events producer. “If you’ve never publicly kissed another women at the beach or on the street feeling completely safe and proud, a Girl Power event in Provincetown will change your life.”

Provincetown's zip code — 02657 — is the gayest in the country, Molnar said. "Lesbians and gay men fill the beaches, restaurants, bars and lodging. Add Ptown’s seaside charm and you have an unparalleled LGBT vacation experience," she explained. “Instead of staying in big, impersonal hotels and shopping at cookie-cutter chain stores that can be found anywhere, our guests stay in lesbian- and gay-owned inns, dine at lesbian- and gay-owned restaurants, socialize at lesbian- and gay-owned nightspots, and shop at unique lesbian- and gay-owned boutiques."

What are your plans this summer?

Come party at all four events with 15,000 of your closest new friends and Girl Power Events in Provincetown, Massachusetts this summer! Follow us on Facebook and Join Our List on the right to stay up to date on all current happenings.

Tags: memorial day weekend, summer 2011, women of color event, girl splash, single women's weekend